Paddlefish Are Back – Stay Out of the Water

Didn’t we just go over this folks? Stay out of death puddles (rivers, lakes, oceans). Man, killer fish are popping up all over the place this week. First, I had to write about a 6-foot muskie that was murdering giant pike in a North Dakota river, now this? Look. I’m not a marine biologist and I don’t claim to know anything about a paddlefish. But, if the Army Corps of Engineers is describing them as “prehistoric,” my alarms start to go off. In my brain, prehistoric equals dinosaurs, dinosaurs equal Jurassic Park, and Jurassic Park equals death.

Anything that lived at the same time as dinosaurs has to be a killer. The world of dinosaurs was kill or be killed on a minute to minute basis and this thing is a living dinosaur.

Granted, this paddlefish doesn’t exactly look intimidating. It looks like the it’s a cousin of the sword fish, but with a very dull sword. You know what they say though… “He may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he’s definitely the most dangerous.”

Update: After watching this gif, I’m convinced that a paddlefish would and could kill me if it was given the chance.

WITF: (Pittsburgh) — A western Pennsylvania fisherman has made a prehistoric catch.

Aaron Thompson posted pictures of him holding the large, long-nosed fish to a local fisherman Facebook group Tuesday.

The Pittsburgh U.S. Army Corps of Engineers shared the photo, asking people to name the fish.

Thompson confirms it was a Paddlefish, which dates back 75 million years. He caught the fish in the Allegheny River close to Lock and Dam 9.

The Fish & Boat Commission says the threatened species was believed to no longer be present in Pennsylvania waters.

Thompson says the catch was “completely accidental,” and he later released it without harm.”

By the way, they caught this thing in Pittsburgh. That’s close to home.

I need at least 1,000 miles between the nearest paddlefish and I to feel comfortable.