This killer fish is why I never swim in natural bodies of water

There is a reason that I don’t swim in rivers, lakes, ponds or the ocean. I’ve always had a very strict, ankles-deep rule when it came to entering in a natural body of water. That’s as deep as I go. Swimming is great and I love a good pool or hot tub. But, you’re not getting in me in any of those natural puddles of death. People can argue with me as much as they want (and they have), about swimming in lakes if perfectly safe and how the odds of something bad happening in the ocean are 1 in a 100 million. I don’t care. If there’s no chlorine in the water, I’m not swimming in it.

One time on Spring Break in college, we had some drinks and went to the aquarium. There was a girl there giving a presentation on swimming with sharks.

Naturally, I asked if she had a death wish and was just trying to get eaten by a shark. Her response was, “If God wants me to be eaten by a shark, it’s going to happen weather I swim in the ocean with them or not.”

To which I replied, “I live in Carbondale, Pennsylvania and never enter the ocean. I can 100% guarantee you that no matter how much God wants me to be eater by a shark, that shit isn’t happening.” She then realized that she was giving a children’s presentation to 8 drunk college guys and walked out of the room. Guess what, 8 years later and I still don’t have any shark bites. True story.

I’ve always felt relatively “safe” near fresh water. That was until I saw a Facebook post by Cody John Wolters today. He posted a video of a giant muskie fish eating a 3 foot long pike fish. Get ALL THE WAY out of here. I’m pretty sure that a pike could like, bite your finger off, if it wanted to. They’re big fish and have very large, sharp teeth. Now, enter this god damn murderous muskie. That son of a bitch could definitely bite my hand or foot off. I’m convinced of it. It’s important to note that neither of those points are based on facts or research; just my (possibly) over dramatic assumptions.

Cody should have 100% killed that monster of a fish before it eats an innocent person. He could have been a hero. Now… that blood is on your hands, Cody. I hope you’re happy.


Note the absolute lack of fear this fish is showing. The only wild animals in nature that don’t fear you, are the ones that know they can kill you.

The absolutely fear on this kids face is warranted. What if that muskie just decides to jump out of the water and eat his face?

The only other explanation is that Cody trained this fish to hunt for him. In the picture below, it looks like this guy is brining him the fish like a dog would. These photos originate from North Dakota. So, anything is possible.

No matter what you say, you’ll never convince me that this fish couldn’t kill everyone involved if it wanted to and didn’t already have a belly full of Northern Pike.