Jose Abreu Ate a Fake Passport for a $68 million Contract


People do all types of things on flights to pass the time. Some sleep, some throw in a movie, some even try and talk to others like weirdos. Then there are some like Jose Abreu who like nothing more than to order a Heineken to was down the fake passport that he just ate. Usually when people are doing something like that it’s because they’re trying to avoid being immediately return shipped back to sender like they were common a piece of mail. Jose had a pretty good reason to eat this document and that was to be able to sign a 68 million dollar contract with the White Sox in Haiti. He just recently admitted his culinary secret to a federal jury so that he would avoid any prosecution in wait for it, a Cuban ballplayer smuggling operation. Who would’ve ever guessed that Cuba would behind such a scandal? Honestly, this seems like one of the tamest things Cuba does. This had nothing to do with mass executions, killing people for no reason or anything like that. Smuggling baseball players from Cuba is like America’s not paying taxes. It’s pretty common. So I would say eating the passport was a genius move by Abreu. Avoid jail time and become insanely rich in the process. Sounds like the american dream.

The stories of players from Cuba and the journey it takes them to get to America to play ball are outrageous. From dirt bag smugglers pointing guns at them and their families to guys literally getting on rafts and traveling by way of ocean currents. The will to not just play but to escape an area is something I’m pretty confident I’ll know nothing about. You know, unless Canada attacks or something.