Washington’s 2nd Round Curse: It’s Real

The sports curse of Washington is a serious thing. I don’t believe that when you walk under a ladder, step on a crack, or when someone sweeps your feet, you get bad luck. However, I do believe that when you grow up watching a sports franchise who won all of their titles before you were born, or even 3 years into your birth, your sports franchise might just have a curse. Now take what I just said, and apply it to every 4 major sports team your city has to offer. YOU. ARE. CURSED. And that just happens to be what D.C. sports are currently going through. Some could wish that their team was cursed when they get to the conference finals or the final, not D.C. sports, oh no, we’d rather not build your confidence that high. We want SECOND ROUND COLLAPSES!….I present my case for the D.C. sports 2nd round playoff curse (thanks to Canibus for 2nd round knockout inspiration)

Lets start here

Washington Nationals: The ONLY 3 playoff appearances in Nationals history have all ended in 2nd and gone (Brent Musberger voice) 2012 season: 98-64 record and lost to the St. Louis Cardinals in the Divisional round 3-2. 2014 season: 96-66 record and lost in (of course) the divisional round to the eventual world series champions, the San Francisco Giants. This last season, the Nationals who were 95-67 lost to the LA Dodgers! In the all powerful 2nd round of the playoffs. Look at the roster for the 2014 & 2016 Nationals and tell me if they should be losing in the bleeping 2nd round of any season. The curse is real I tell you. In those last two playoff appearances, players on that roster included: Bryce Harper, Jayson Werth, Stephen Strasburg, and Max Scherzer. That’s 2 CY Young’s, 2 Gold Gloves, and a couple of No-no’s thrown. HOW SWAY?!?!

Now let’s go to something lighter

Washington Capitals: I’ll even make this one fair. I’ll only go back to the last 3 choke jobs the Capitals have performed. Lets revisit the 2012-2013 season: Capitals finish 1st in their division with a record of 27-18 (I think that was part of the lockout season) and entered the playoffs against The New York Rangers and took a surprising 2-0 lead. Blew it in none other than the SECOND ROUND! 2014-2015 season, finished 2nd in the division with a 45-26 record. Go into the playoffs against who you ask?  The god damn Rangers again(x1000 xp of you read that like Frankenstein from Big Daddy.) The difference you ask? Caps had a 3-1 lead…and BLEW IT IN THE SECOND ROUND!!! Even Larry King let a tweet fly about how the Caps can’t get the job done. I haven’t seen Larry King throw a hardball since Cal Ripken Jr. ran D.C.

Last and least memorable, the 2015-2016 season where the Caps led their division AGAIN with the record of 56-18! the Caps have a scare in the 1st round, but snake out in the 7th game to move to the second round to face who, I ask you again? OK, not the Rangers this time, but their “rivals” the Pittsburgh Penguins who got the Caps out the paint relatively quickly with a 4-2 series win. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?! Man I picked an absolutely mediocre sports town to represent

Now here’s where I get upset

Washington Wizards: There are a lot of sports I love to watch. Also a lot of sports I like to play. Nothing made me happier than entering the old MCI Center (now called Verizon Center) to see the likes of Chris Webber, Rip Hamilton, OLD Michael Jordan, Gilbert Arenas, and cult hero Popeye Jones (I don’t even remember if that’s his real name or not). I remember what it felt like to watch teams develop and then triumph the regular season to make it to the playoffs.

Now when these teams make the playoffs is where my heart gets broken, because I have actually been emotionally invested in the Wizards. I’ll go over the 3 most heartbreaking playoff losses I’ve witnessed and hopefully you might see a recurring theme, amiright?

The year is 2006, Gilbert Arenas and a Wizards team with Antwan Jamison, Caron Butler, and DeShawn Stevenson, so we’re pretty damn loaded (42-40). In game 5, game BLEEPING 5 a move I never knew had another definition besides travel was invented. We now know it as “The Crab Dribble” I hate that move; I despise the existence of that move, and if it weren’t for the greatness of LeBron, I’d hate basketball forever after that. With that one bleeping move and bucket the Wizards lose in the BLEEPING FIRST ROUND 4-2. The NBA, it’s FAAAAANNNNNNNTASSSTIC….my ass

Fast forward to the 2014 season. The Wizards 4-1 the Bulls and go into the next round riding high. I was making Eastern Conference finals bets with Heat fans and then BAM, we remembered we made it to the second round and even solidify how allergic to prosperity we are by scoring 63 points in a playoff game.

2015 we 4-0 the TORONTO RAPTORS who are winning with pretty much the same team they had then!!!! And of course, in the SECOND BLEEPING ROUND lose 4-2. At least we respect the 2. We were molded by it’s mediocrity. It flows through us like the spirit energy of Goku…I’m really pissed as I write this.

On to the final frontier of mediocrity in playoff performances

Washington Redskins: When’s the last time this team even made the 2nd round? I truly forget and I’m a fan. I’m going with Jason Campbell. Upon further review, the last QB to take a snap in the 2nd round of the playoffs is….Mark Brunell…yep that guy.

You thought I had more for the Redskins huh?………..NOPE

Relieve the agony with me and remember the next time someone says *insert D.C. sports team* can go all the way this year! Look straight in their face and reference this article