Serniak Attack: Can Gronk play without lungs?

Last I checked, this is still America, regardless of who tries to tell me that it’s not. If the old saying of “you can do anything you put your mind” to Roman Reigns true, then Rob Gronkowski can play without lungs if he so chooses.

But could he actually do it?

Gronk went ahead and got his lung punctured by Kam Chancellor during the Pat’s loss to the Seahawks. Now, I don’t want to say there was a bounty on Gronk, because that would be impossible, due to the fact that the league has outlawed such a practice. But, I don’t think anyone else on the has suffered a punctured lung. Think about it. Can you imagine the amount of money a bounty program would pay out for puttin a hole in someone’s lung? That has to be one of top payouts on the list. If that was to happen, Kam would make bank.

If Gronk wants to blame someone for this, he can go ahead and point right at his QB. Brady says that players shouldn’t be able use treat their bodies like cruise missiles and fire into defenseless receiver, but he never said that players shouldn’t treat their bodies like one of Ric Flair’s patented knife edged chops and put holes in Gronk’s vital organs.

If you think about it, lungs aren’t defenseless. They have a god-given flap jacket in the form of a rib cage that proves the almighty knows that football players lives matter, too. If you you can’t play without any lungs, you should definitely be able to play with at least one, based on the fact that you can live with only one kidney — right? I’m pretty sure that theory cements the idea that the human body is meant to be monogamous. Good news for Gronk. Bad news for Utah.

Can’t really think of a better candidate to play with a damaged lung then a man with the heritage and genes that Gronk has. Based on history, Polish people can survive adversity and walk out on their own two feet. So, catching 7 balls for for 123 yards and a score shouldn’t a thang. Those genes are important and he knows it. Why else would his entire family be in the National Football League? Gronk is a guy who knows that blood is thicker than water. But, as a Patriots’ TE it isn’t exactly a prerequisite to know for a fact that blood is in fact thicker than water. (Hence, Gronk. He’s a Dumb, Dumb. S/O Paul.) Comes with the jersey. I’m pretty sure he has performed before without being able to breath and by performed, I mean not taking a breath as takes over the dance floor in the club.

Evolution is screaming for a man like Gronk to play without lungs or even utilize his lungs at all. It’s about damn time we show the world that we ain’t done getting better and all improve ourselves. Down with lungs, 2016. Are you with me?