Sports News Report

Here are this week’s top sports news stories in, the Sports News Report.

 

A-Rod hired by FOX Sports

On Tuesday, Fox Sports announced the hiring of former MLB star, Alex Rodriguez. Rodriguez will be brought on as a full-time baseball analyst which will include both studio and in-game booth work. Rodriguez, who has years of experience of being in the public eye from past steroid use accusations, signed a multi-year deal with the network. When asked to comment on his new analyst position, Rodriguez told reporters, “My experience as a player has given me great knowledge of the game – And I want to take that knowledge and inject it into the ass cheeks of baseball fans everywhere.”

Barcelona’s comeback win ‘like a film’

On Wednesday, Barcelona stunned Paris St.-Germain by scoring the winning goal in stoppage time of the Champions League contest. Overcoming a 4-0 deficit, Barcelona scored three times in the final 30 minutes. With five minutes of injury time extending play, Barcelona slung crosses into the box until unlikely hero, Sergi Roberto, came through with the game-winning boot. Europeans have quoted the comeback victory as being “amazing”, “like a film.” Meanwhile, Americans have described it as being, “the worst film ever.”

Changes to Rules of Golf

Late last week, the USGA and R&A revealed a preview of proposed changes to the Rules of Golf. In an ongoing effort to make the rules of the game easier to understand for golfers of all abilities, many of the changes focus on quickening the rate of which the game is played. Among these modifications: time searching for a lost ball will be reduced from five to three minutes, players must play their shot within 40 seconds, and, topping the list of changes to speed up play…No old ladies allowed.

Suns’ gorilla mascot dives onto court during game

On Tuesday night, NBA fans witnessed something unusual during the Suns-Wizards game. With 11 minutes left in the contest, the Suns’ gorilla mascot dramatically leaped onto the court then quickly shuffled off. Pictures confirm that the gorilla may have saved players from possible injury by retrieving a drum stick that made its way onto the court. In a post-game interview, the star of the evening humbly admitted, “I’m no hero. I was hungry. From my angle, it looked like a banana.”

Tom Brady meal kits

And finally. New England Patriots’ quarterback, Tom Brady, has partnered with Boston startup company, Purple Carrot, to offer fans the chance to get Super Bowl-caliber meals sent straight to their doorsteps. For $78 per week, customers will get mailed the ingredients to make six dinners eaten regularly by Brady that help him stay at the top of his game. Unfortunately for fans, Brady’s favorite dish, Giselle’s spicy tuna taco, will not be offered as a meal choice.

 

@Eddie_ThePAS

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